Matriculation Examination of English

So yeah, I had my final exam of English today. I have to admit that I should have studied way more than I did (to be honest, I didn't study at all, well, more than usual - it's quite normal of me to read the dictionary from time to time and check the usage of some prepositions or idioms and shit once in a blue moon). The exam wasn't particularly difficult but it wasn't easy either. The preliminary exam was about as difficult as this one but I fucked up the listening comprehension test on that, at least compared to this exam. I honestly don't know how well I did so I'm quite scared right now. I don't think I'll try again if I get an E (the grades from the worst to the best: I [failed], A, B, C, M, E, L), however, as it's a pretty decent grade and I don't want to stay in upper secondary anymore, I have universities ahead of me... If I don't get in anywhere, I think I could give it another shot, though.

It's just so damn funny how casual it felt to jot down the essay we had to compose. It was basically exactly the same as writing a blog entry. I planned it well and wrote it twice just because I had time and yes, the second version ended up being noticeably better than the first draft was. Well, of course. I don't claim I'd always go through the same process with my blog entries but sometimes I do and I did the same with my Finnish essay on my last exam, once again, because I had time.

I guess I did relatively well, given the circumstances. I slept for four hours last night and haven't particularly studied. At least the exam will now tell about my real knowledge and ability more than the amount of things I've got memorised. I think it's more important to be able to use the language just as you wish than do well on exams, language is, after all, just a tool. It can be beautiful, remarkable, witty, entertaining, informing, interesting, alarming, thought-provoking, emotional, what the fuck not, but it's a tool nevertheless, and it's one of the best there is.