Changes

Everyone has their problems. Insecurities, dark moments in their pasts, nightmares that keep haunting them, things like that. There's no such a thing as a perfect human being and I'm sure everyone has something that bothers them - about they themselves, about their lives, about what not. Nevertheless, you can always fix those things, make it better and even if you failed on the first or the second or the tenth time, at least you've tried. I've been thinking about doing that. I've been planning on it, actually. This week has been a week of decisions and plans. I quit my work because it didn't inspire me and it ate most of my mental capacity, making me a nervous wreck. I don't actually blame the work itself - the place was nice and the people there were too. It just wasn't the right job for me. I'm happy I tried it, though, but now I have more time for myself and well, other things - namely art and dancing.

I'm going to wake up early every day, exercise or take a walk, cook something, draw like I did it for living (meaning 8 hours a row each weekday, with a couple of breaks of course), take another walk, cook again and then do whatever I want. I'm going to sleep at night, or at least try to. I'm not drinking alcohol. Not going out on weekdays. Not eating unhealthy food. Attending dance sessions and workshops and everything whenever possible. I'm trying to make myself happier and if the last six months have made me unhappy, what can I do about it? Learn. I can always learn.

I also rented myself a new flat. I'm moving in the beginning of August. That will, too, be a new beginning in a way. I'll only pack necessary things. Positive, beautiful things that I like. If there's something uninspiring, I'm leaving it behind. I'm going to make this home a beautiful and happy one. I'm trying to get a grip of my life again. I think I've said or at least thought about it a couple of times before, adding, 'and this time it's for real', so I won't say so now. I'm just saying that I'm learning and making change. That's what life is about, doing.